“Greetings, people of God. My name is Nonkululeko from South Africa. Things have turned around by His mercy! I have many testimonies to share and I believe God is not done with me. I had a headache that would be so painful at the back of my right eye due to overthinking and stress. I’d go to the doctor and get medication, but as long as I still got overwhelmed by the challenges of life, the headache would always come back. It’s been several years; if I remember correctly, it was 2021 when this started. This year, it became worse. I was even afraid of it and would self-medicate before it even started because I knew whenever I had tension at the back of my neck or shoulders, it was coming.
“The cause of the returned headache was after I allowed myself to be deceived and entered into an ungodly relationship. This was a lesson for me, though, after the consequences. The enemy studies you and presents what will look like it’s aligned with the godly life you talk about. It continued to look like that but I’d now opened a door, unaware. I thought I was still in line with God; I was still praying and didn’t change anything, reading my Bible – until the relationship was six months old. My prayer life started to become blank. I worshipped and prayed but I could see something was wrong and felt lost. At this stage, there was no Bible reading, and it’s painful to feel disconnected from your Creator.
“Changes started in the relationship that I couldn’t believe, and soon my sin vomited on me. That’s how the enemy strikes, and I struggled because I never took time to discern his intention. This left me with anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, and less confidence. I felt like I was walking around naked, with self-condemnation. I hated myself for allowing deceit to take over, and I was now realising that some of the signs I’d ignored, or what I’d actually doubted before, were the truth, but I chose to believe the opposite. I was even warned in my dreams; even my sister had a similar dream about the relationship. What was confusing was that other dreams aligned with what I thought was good about the person’s character. Brother Chris once said to check the state of your heart when going through some challenges in life or where you are standing with God. When I checked my own, I now realised I had given in. The enemy saw the door was wide open and used it.
“Another challenge I wrote about was my son, who began vaping at 14, was always in trouble at school, and stole money from me. I was now this angry mum who couldn’t handle her own child in terms of discipline when the need arose or speak with kindness as a mum. I was always in a defensive mode, even at work. This added to my anxiety, and at times I would feel chest pains and my right ear had a noise every evening. I didn’t get what was happening. I would pray, but sometimes I would just cry when I was supposed to be praying. The voice that said I’m not a real believer started to be loud in my ears and heart. It was war in my soul. My prayers were weak for this. I also felt I couldn’t manage my finances.
I wrote to God’s Heart TV several times, and I would be invited to join Interactive Prayers. There was a time I was in distress; it was like something was fighting me deep in my soul. The fact that I couldn’t pray like I used to stressed me big time. Brother Chris said we have to join the prayer wholeheartedly. That’s when I realised I’d been joining with baggage in my heart and the fire of that prayer would last for a few days, then I’d be back to square one. I wasn’t playing my role; I had given in.
“I joined again on September 6 with other problems – chest pain and this voice or noise in my left ear. It vanished after prayer; I have no pain in my chest. There are no loud voices anymore. The headache is gone. I am more patient and I don’t get involved in conflicts at work or feel attacked unnecessarily. I now reprimand my son like a mother; he no longer steals money even if I leave my wallet. I have started waking up during the night to pray to grow spiritually and read the Bible. Brother Chris says, ‘You make time for what you desire,’ and this is my prayer. I handle things differently, even my finances. Temptations still come, but grace has kept me focused. I always pray for peace and not to panic. I have learnt not to give out my heart cheaply, like Brother Chris says in one of his sermons, because if you entertain sin, it will leave you wounded. It doesn’t matter whether you were deceived or not, but the moment you find you have gone astray, quickly come back and repent. We really depend on God; we are nothing without Him; there is nothing we can do without Him. There is no genuine me without God. I really thank God for pulling me out from darkness. Thank you, God’s Heart TV family.”