Session 1 - The Biblical Foundations of Christian Marriage

Sermon and Prayer

As servants of God, we respect culture but we revere Christ! That is why the Biblical principles set out in this first Marriage Seminar are not targeted for those from a specific upbringing, culture or tradition. No – God has supplied the truth and this session will introduce how to apply that truth no matter our background, situation or location.

This session looks at both the covenant and the calling of marriage. Firstly, Brother Chris clarifies the union of three personalities in a Christian marriage: God, the husband and the wife – the central character being God Himself. Learn how our personal relationship with God is the fundamentally important relationship – the foundation from which the marriage is built. Discover your calling and your role in the marriage as husband and wife – as God designed it. And be blessed as you pray along with Brother Chris to invite the Holy Spirit to help you to apply these principles in the light of God’s Word.

Scriptures

Genesis 1:26-28

“Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'”

“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'”

“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

“The Pharisees came and asked Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ testing Him. And He answered and said to them, ‘What did Moses command you?’ They said, ‘Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.’ And Jesus answered and said to them, ‘Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation, God “made them male and female.” “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.'”

“Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?'”

“But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.”

“For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

“And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.”

Questions & Answers

Many questions were submitted before the Marriage Seminars by those who applied to take part. Here are responses to some of those written questions, which are relevant to this first session.

What is the reason for getting married in these "end times"?

God’s design for marriage remains relevant regardless of the era, as it is based on scriptural principles rather than human experience. There are three primary reasons for marriage:

  • Companionship, Help, and Comfort: As stated in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Christian marriage provides a deep friendship where partners help one another grow spiritually and overcome natural tendencies toward selfishness.
  • Procreation and the Prevention of Sexual Sin: Marriage is the God-given environment to be “fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). It provides a God-honouring channel for sexual intimacy and a means for children to be raised in the “fear and nurture of the Lord.” As Apostle Paul noted in 1 Corinthians 7:9, “It is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
  • A Display of Christ’s Relationship with the Church: Marriage is a profound mystery that reflects the bond between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:32).

Regarding the “end times,” some point to 1 Corinthians 7:26, where Paul suggests it is good for a person to remain as they are “in view of the present distress.” This was specific pastoral advice for a period of intense persecution in Corinth, not a declaration that marriage is no longer valid. While everything should be subservient to the priority of glorifying God, the design for marriage stands as long as there are human beings on earth.

God’s original plan, established in Genesis and confirmed by Jesus and Apostle Paul, is for marriage to be between one man and one woman. Mark 10:6-8 emphasises that “the two shall become one flesh.”

While certain practices like ‘easy divorce’ occurred in the Old Testament, Jesus explained that Moses allowed these only because of the people’s “hardness of heart.” Such practices are not condoned under the New Covenant. In this New Covenant, God says, “I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts” (Jeremiah 31:33).

The answer to family breakdown is not polygamy, but allowing the Holy Spirit to change our hearts so we can truly live out God’s original design for marriage.

Marriage is a public covenant, not merely a private matter or simple cohabitation. It is the creation of a new unit before God and man, carrying significant spiritual, social, and legal weight.

Two people cannot simply come together privately and call themselves married; such an arrangement lacks the necessary responsibility and can be an invitation to sexual immorality. A godly marriage requires bearing the responsibilities of the union alongside its benefits. Just as biblical covenants in the Old Testament were exercised before witnesses, the public nature of marriage remains a fundamental principle.

Marriage involves the creation of a new family unit, but this does not mean partners lose their personal identity. Maintaining individual differences is essential for a successful marriage; the joy of the union is found in complementary strengths – in which one is strong where the other is weak.

However, any ‘identity’ rooted in selfishness must be surrendered. If an individual defines their identity as doing exactly what they want – such as mixing with friends as if they were single, flirting, or keeping secrets regarding their actions and finances – then that version of identity must go.

When the Bible speaks of becoming “one flesh,” it refers to a shift in focus and priorities within a covenant relationship, not the loss of personality. Following Jesus requires denying oneself and giving up the right to complete independence (Matthew 16:24). Marriage serves as a test of whether one has truly surrendered to God’s will or remains governed by selfish desires.

To understand why love fades, we must distinguish between three types of love:

  • Eros: Sensual or physical love.
  • Phileo: General affection or fondness.
  • Agape: The highest form of love – selfless, unconditional, and sacrificial.

Eros and Phileo are primarily emotional. These can fade when the novelty of marriage passes, partners stop being on their best behaviour, or the pressures of life take a toll. Often, a spouse’s focus shifts from their partner’s positive attributes to their negative ones. Because emotions follow focus, this leads to negative feelings. The remedy is to choose to redirect focus back to positive attributes, thanking God for one’s spouse and meditating on His Word.

Agape love is a matter of decision and commitment. If this love has drifted, the biblical response is to “repent and do the works you did at first” (Revelation 2:4-5). In marriage, this means renewing one’s commitment as a duty and loving the spouse sacrificially, regardless of current feelings. By putting this into practice, a couple “sows to the Spirit” and will eventually reap the rewards of a restored relationship (Galatians 6:8).

A harmonious and satisfying marriage is only possible when both partners put God first; therefore, surrendering to Christ and enjoying a happy marriage are not in conflict. However, the joys of marriage interfere with one’s relationship with God only if the spouse or the marriage becomes an ‘idol’ – defined as anything placed above God in the heart.

Warning signs of this include a marriage becoming too inward-looking, where the couple focuses solely on their own satisfaction at the expense of their relationship with God and the needs of others. Just as individuals must not be selfish, a married couple must not be ‘selfish’ as a unit.

The real beauty of life is not found in how happy you are, but in how happy others can be because of you. A strong, harmonious union should be a source of strength that allows a couple to bless others and set a godly example – whether through charitable acts, visiting the lonely, or offering help to those in need.

Your Feedback

Please share with us some of the lessons you have learned from this first session, or any further questions that you have on the topic.

Other Sessions

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Male and Female Roles and Responsibilities